Abstract
Heightened and often anxious attachment to companion animals can be one of the sequela of women's unresolved grief over early maternal loss. Clinical data suggest that, especially among women, the death of pets can reactivate the unfinished mourning over the mother. Drawing on one extensive case study, this paper examines this little explored, but commonly experienced relationship. From the perspectives of attachment theory and feminist therapy, the paper addresses the human-animal bond, gender differences in grief, the long term effects of early maternal loss, later attachment style, and companion animals as internalized parent/child figures. Recommendations for treatment are offered to help women work through both losses.
Similar content being viewed by others
REFERENCES
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Ainsworth, M. D. S. & Eichberg, C. (1994). “Effects on infant-mother attachment of mother's unresolved loss of an attachment figure or other traumatic experience” cited in H. Edelman (1994), Motherless Daughters: The legacy of loss, New York: Dell Publishing.
Beck, A. and Katcher, A.H. (1983). Between Pets and People: The Importance of Animal Companionship, New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons.
Bowlby, J. (1963). “Pathological mourning and childhood mourning,” Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, vol 11, 500-541.
Bowlby, J. (1969/1982). Attachment and Loss: Vol 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1977). “The making and breaking of affectional bonds,” British Journal of Psychiatry, vol 130, 210-210.
Chodorow, N. (1978). The Reproduction of Mothering. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.
Cohen, S. (1998). Director of Social Services, The Animal Medical Center, New York City, NY. personal communication.
Cowles, K. V. (1985). “The death of a pet: Human responses to the breaking of the bond,” Marriage & Family Review, vol 8(3–4), 135-148.
Douglas, J. D. (1990–1991). “Patterns of change following parent death in midlife adults,” Omega, Vol 22(2), 123-137.
Dunn, K. (1997). Chief Social Worker, Veterinary Hospital University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, PA. personal communication.
Edelman, H. (1994). Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss, New York: Dell Publishing.
Finkelstein, H. (1988). “The long term effects of early parent death: A review,” Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol 44(1), 3-9.
Furman, E. (1974). A Child's Parent Dies, New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press.
Gerwolls, M. K. & Labott, S. M. (1994). “Adjustment to the death of a companion animal,” Anthrozoos, Vol 7(3), 172-187.
Glickfield, B. D. (1993). “Adult attachment and utilization of social provisions as a function of perceived mourning behavior and perceived parental bonding after early parent loss” (Diss., University of Detroit Mercy, 1993, cited in H. Edelman (1994), Motherless Daughters: The legacy of loss, New York: Dell Publishing.
Goin, M. K., Burgoyne, R. W., and Goin, J. M. (1979). “Timeless attachment to a dead relative,” American Journal of Psychiatry, vol 136(7), 988-989.
Gosse, G. H. & Barnes, M. J. (1994). “Human grief resulting from the death of a pet,” Anthrozoos, vol 7(2), 103-111.
Jacobson, G. & Ryder, R. G. (1969). “Parental loss and some characteristics of the early marriage relationship,” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, vol. 39, 779-787.
Keddie, K. (1977). “Pathological mourning after the death of a domestic pet,” British Journal of Psychiatry, vol 131, 21-25.
Main, M. (1985, April). “An adult attachment classification system: Its relation to infant-parent attachment.” Paper presented at the Biennial Meeting of the Society for Research in Child Development, Toronto, Canada, cited in M. L. West. & A. E. Sheldon-Keller (1994), Patterns of Relating: An Adult Attachment Perspective, New York: The Guilford Press.
Melson, G. F. & Fogel, A. (1989). “Children's ideas about animal young and their care: A reassessment of gender differences in the development of nurturance,” Anthrozoos, vol. 7(4), 265-273.
Quackenbush, J. (1984). “Social Work in a veterinary hospital: Response to owner grief reactions,” in W. Kay, H. Neiburg, A. Kutschev, R. & C. Fudin (ed.), Pet Loss and Human Bereavement, Iowa: Iowa State University Press.
Robin, M. & ten Bensel, R. (1985). “Pets and the socialization of chiildren,” Marriage & Family Review, Vol. 8(3/4), 63-78.
Rynearson, E. K. (1978). “Humans and pets and attachment,” British Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 133, 550-555.
Shaver, P. R. & Hazan, C. (1988). “A biased overview of the study of love”, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, vol. 5, 473-501, cited in H. Edelman (1994), Motherless Daughters: The legacy of loss, New York: Dell Publishing.
Stallones, L. (1994). “Pet loss and mental health,” Anthrozoos, vol. 7(1), 43-54.
Stern, J. (1985). “Pet attachment as a delayed mourning process,” Journal of Psychology and Judaism, vol. 9(2), 114-119.
Taboada, J. & Brackenridge, S. (1994a). “Client Bereavement and the Grief Process.” In D. McCurnin (ed), Clinical Textbook for Veterinary Technicians, (pp. 519-529). Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Co.
Taboada, J. & Brackenridge, S. (1994b). Pet Loss: A Thoughtful Guide For Adults & Children, New York: Harper & Row.
Vance, J. C., Boyle, F. M., Najman, J. M. & Thearle, M. J. (1995). “Gender differences in parental psychological distress following perinatal death or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,” British Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 167, 806-811.
Weiss, R. S. (1982). “Attachment in adult life.” In C. M. Parkes & J. Stevenson-Hinde (ed.), The Place of Attachment in Human Behavior (pp. 171-184). New York: Basic Books.
Weisman, A. D. (1990–1991). “Bereavement and companion animals,” Omega, Vol. 22(4), 241-248.
West, M. L. & Sheldon-Keller, A. E. (1994). Patterns of Relating: An Adult Attachment Perspective, New York: The Guilford Press.
Witchel, A. (1998, June 28). “At home with Caroline Knapp: Reinventing a life with a dog of her own,” The New York Times.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Margolies, L. The Long Goodbye: Women, Companion Animals, and Maternal Loss. Clinical Social Work Journal 27, 289–304 (1999). https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1022894320225
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1022894320225