Perfectionism: The Bane of Happiness

Abstract

Have you lost your juice after office hours? Do you feel drained after a day in clinic? Did you recently complete a grueling 70-min knee “short procedure”? (Fig. 6.1). Are you critical of others and of yourself? Chances are you suffer from perfectionism—the mind’s recipe for misery. Sadly, perfectionistic tendencies infiltrate the thinking of most physicians. While the lure of perfection promises satisfaction, it only yields unhappiness. Perfectionism robs us of truly being our best selves.

Tomorrow, Try This

• In the words of David Burns, MD [8]: “Dare to be average” for the next 30 days. Accept that you are imperfect and resist the temptation to give into fear. Just be and reconnect with your creative self. Let inspiration and passion rule rather than “the tyranny of shoulds.”

• Make a list of pros and cons on a piece of paper about your perfectionism. Burns uses this exercise to convince his patients that they are less productive when perfectionism takes hold [8].

• Another tactic Dr. Burns recommends is to become more “process oriented” rather than results oriented [8]. For example, focus on a good consistent effort in the operating room or office and release the compulsion to attain the perfect result. Implicit with a process orientation is the setting of realistic time limits to each task. Be sure to adhere to them. You will be surprised at the satisfaction and productivity boost you will realize.

• Look at mistakes as opportunities for growth—not a sign of failure. We learn from errors, not successes. Each apparent step backward merely brings us closer to our goals.

• Practice mindfulness [5] or a deep relaxation technique daily. A quiet mind does not dwell on compulsive thinking.

Remember that we are all endowed by the universe with intrinsic worth which is immutable and cannot be altered with any measure of achievement.

Now, have yourself a great, fulfilling, and average day.