The sexual imagination

Abstract

It’s clear from evolutionary, developmental, and psychodynamic psychology that men and women do not think alike. To quote the sexologist Shire Hite, “All too many men still seem to believe, in a rather naïve and egocentric way, that what feels good to them is automatically what feels good to women.” The evolutionary mating game has set different rules for men and women. Assuming that each thinks the same is to invite conflict. As the actress Bette Midler pointed out, “If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?” The huge numbers of self-help books on marriage published annually suggest that men and women operate on different wavelengths.